Isn’t that a great insight? A friend said this to me as we processed an event that is unfolding in her life. It got me thinking about forgiveness and how we fallible human beings get all wound around the drama of forgiveness. We are afraid that by forgiving someone, we are condoning their actions that brought us pain.
According to Wikipedia: Forgiveness is typically defined as the process of concluding resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution.
While I can’t feign to be of the ultra-forgiving camp (those who know me can attest to this), this very definition implies judgment and a moralistic attitude. After all, how else can we determine that forgiveness is needed? Who are we to make the determination of what is right and what is wrong?
Certainly wrongs are done in this world, but most people behave in the way they do because they perceive it as the “right” thing for them to do in that moment. Looking at it from that perspective, you can almost always forgive most things.
Are you stuck on the issue of forgiveness? Either needing it or needing to give it? I certainly have a couple of pain points in my life right now.
So, where is the line between forgiveness and stupidity? Ultimately, the line is where you go from respecting yourself to feeling you let yourself down.