Listening is An Important Counseling Technique

During my non-violent techniques class a couple of weeks ago, the instructor shared this poem.  I thought it was excellent for a counselor's consideration.  Consider the following:

Listen

When I ask you to listen to me and

You start giving me advice, you have not done what I have asked

When I ask you to listen to me and

You begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way.

You are trampling on my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me and

You feel you have to do something

To solve my problem,

You have failed me.  Strange as that may seem.

Listen:  all that I ask you to do is listen.

Not talk or do—just hear me.

When you do something for me

That I can and need to do for myself

You contribute to my fear and inadequacy.

But when you accept as a simple fact

That I feel what I feel, no matter how irrational

Then I can quit trying to convince you

And get about this business of understanding what’s behind them.

So please listen and just hear me.

And, if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn.

And I’ll listen to you.

--Anonymous