During my non-violent techniques class a couple of weeks ago, the instructor shared this poem. I thought it was excellent for a counselor's consideration. Consider the following:
Listen
When I ask you to listen to me and
You start giving me advice, you have not done what I have asked
When I ask you to listen to me and
You begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way.
You are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me and
You feel you have to do something
To solve my problem,
You have failed me. Strange as that may seem.
Listen: all that I ask you to do is listen.
Not talk or do—just hear me.
When you do something for me
That I can and need to do for myself
You contribute to my fear and inadequacy.
But when you accept as a simple fact
That I feel what I feel, no matter how irrational
Then I can quit trying to convince you
And get about this business of understanding what’s behind them.
So please listen and just hear me.
And, if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn.
And I’ll listen to you.
--Anonymous
Listen
When I ask you to listen to me and
You start giving me advice, you have not done what I have asked
When I ask you to listen to me and
You begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way.
You are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me and
You feel you have to do something
To solve my problem,
You have failed me. Strange as that may seem.
Listen: all that I ask you to do is listen.
Not talk or do—just hear me.
When you do something for me
That I can and need to do for myself
You contribute to my fear and inadequacy.
But when you accept as a simple fact
That I feel what I feel, no matter how irrational
Then I can quit trying to convince you
And get about this business of understanding what’s behind them.
So please listen and just hear me.
And, if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn.
And I’ll listen to you.
--Anonymous